Planning 2015: Where is the Time Going?

Behold! An image of no particular greatness, but which nevertheless sums up this stage in my life quite well. You see, this year is turning out to be quite the undertaking, encompassing a new job, house renovations (note the paint sample on the wall) and….what else…oh yeah I’m GETTING MARRIED. Did I mention that before?

I spent last year living with my Dad and away from my partner, but instead of regressing, I was determined to do a spot of growing up in 2014. As a result have totally overhauled the way I live my life. I’m aware that sounds terribly dramatic (I’m a drama teacher…sue me!) but I have changed a couple of fundamental things in my life, which means my life genuinely looks and feels different. I have a lovely home that I am so proud of, and a life that I am determined to make the most of. So I’m tidy now (shocked gasps) and I am genuinely, genuinely organised.

Or beginning to be. I’ve been on about 800 time management courses, and after all of them the one thing I have taken away is that keeping on top of things is a constant project. I’ve decided to make the most of what is left of this year, and begin Operation Smash 2015 In The Guts right now.

 

My Weekend Has Been Spent #7

• Starting as I meant to go on, by attending a really wonderful production of Fleabag at the Marlowe Studio in Canterbury. A great show, and I’ll post a proper review soon!
• Attempting to take a discreet selfie – proof that I really did go out on a Friday night! Yes, me! I went out!
• Waking up Saturday morning to breakfast hand prepared and delivered by Mr Hello. He don’t half treat me well, don’t he!
• Attacking the spare room. Still not complete, but at least now it’s tidy enough that I have evidence that there is a bed in there! We’re hoping to get the walls and ceiling replastered and painted soon, so it looks even more presentable before some guests descend for the wedding.
• Heading into Rochester to pay the deposit for our wedding rings. We are getting them from Kaizen Antiques, a jeweller on the High St. Lovely shop, lovely service, terrrrrrible website.
• Taking our luncheon at the institution of Pizza Express. We got a lovely private table and partook of some rather delicious food. Many despise any chain restaurants or stores on our historic High Street, and while I can see the point, it’s also hard to argue with something like Pizza Express, that has consistently good food and good hygiene standards, when other local businesses get very poor hygiene ratings indeed! Blergh.
• Taking some more surreptitious selfies in PE. Proof I was out of the house!
• Heading back home for an afternoon nap that turned into an early night.
• Waking on Sunday morning bright and early – getting the ol’ body clock back into gear now that I have a new job! (PS I have a new job! Starting in April)
• Improvising a breakfast pizza which was weird and delicious but being unable to share the ingredients with you because you will judge me – you definitely will.
• Heading to the gym because I am sad and I have a dress to fit into, goddamn it.
• Taking a turn about TK Maxx with the chap. Two new frying pans being the result.
• Heading home and changing into my “no-one must see me in these” clothes in preparation for:
• Deep cleaning the house from top to bottom. God this task is very dull but somehow immensely satisfying.
• Cooking a roast that worked (yay) and Yorkshire puds for the first time that also worked (double yay)!
• Sitting on my derriere for the rest of the evening, watching Call the Midwife & Poldark. Quite satisfactory indeed.
• Grabbing my laptop to write this. I’m really keen to keep the blogging mojo a-flowing.

Next weekend my goals are to actually leave the house properly and possibly even talk to someone who is not a cat or my future husbo! Chance of success remains to be seen. Hope you had a fab weekend – I am terribly nosey so if you fancy chatting in the comments please do!

Wedding Planning: The Shoes

I am aware that this post is terribly superficial, but for once (well….more than once but WHO’S COUNTING) I remain unapologetic.

You see, since my return to the UK, wedding planning has ramped up a notch or two, because we suddenly realised we had 150 people to feed and drink in just under six months time (check out my new countdown to the right), so we thought we better actually make sure that there’s something for them to do when they arrive.

Obviously the first point of action to address was my wedding shoes. I give you:

Okay, first things first, they never tell you at Blogging School* that it’s really hard to take pictures of your own feet that don’t look tremendously weird. Secondly, please disregard all the visible cat hair. Third of all, how great are these shoes? I adore them.

I’m not what you would usually call a ‘glittery’ kind of a gal, although I have my moments. I had my heart originally set on these pair of Rachel Simpson Blush Suede shoes, but when walking through Debenham’s last week, my eyes spotted these new beauties. At £26 they were over £150 cheaper than the Rachel Simpson ones. I’m not a millionaire but I’m also not opposed to spending money for good quality. I really had to convince myself to buy this cheaper pair! It’s totally absurd.

You may agree that I’ve fallen down the wedding industry hole, you know, the one that tells you that your wedding is the best day of your life and that you can totally justify spending three times as much on something because it’s for your ‘wedding’. The thing is, I want to be as generous as I can at my wedding, both in spirit and materially, for myself and my guests. I very much doubt Mr H and I will ever throw as big a party ever again. I want it to be amazing. But I also don’t want to bankrupt myself, and more to the point I don’t want to lose sight of my own personal values – the ones I use to independently judge the worth of something, rather than just swallowing the copy of wedding blogs that tell me that more somehow always means more.

In summary: I bought some new shoes to wear at my wedding. They were cheap and I LOVE THEM.

* Who am I kidding, I certainly did not go to Blogging School. Perhaps I should?

The Everyday Rhythm

Week 2 of my return to England is imminent, and so I thought a little catch up might be on the cards to let you know how I’m settling in. It’s been an up and down sort of a week to be honest, but let’s start with the positives because that makes us all feel better, no?

UP:

• Actually making it through Customs at Heathrow. Despite the fact I am doing absolutely nothing illegal, somehow the powerful stares of the Border Agency staff make me regret every decision I have ever made, particularly in the lead up to the moment when I’m asked to plonk my passport on their tiny desks. I made it through, as you may have guessed, and it was a GREAT MOMENT.
• Home. Bed. Cats.
• Wandering around Rochester and feeling both the foreigner and the local. An odd yet pleasing sensation.
• Picking up long awaited packages from the Post Office. Hello engagement present vouchers and Liz Earle Skincare. Nice to meet you.
• Having time to make dinner in the evening. I love to cook, so this is fun for me!
• Catching up with dear friends and feeling as if nothing has changed. Em, I adore you.
• Snuggling with Mr Hello in the morning for five more minutes before walking him into work.
• Getting excited for phase 2 of Operation Finish The House Before the Wedding. The phase where we freak out, that is.
• Exciting meetings with exciting people about future potentially exciting jobs. I may very well soon be an employed teacher! EXCITING.
• Catching up with Mr Hello’s folks. They are totally delightful and indulged my loves of their son, eating lots of delicious food, and looking at old photos. A Sunday well spent.
• Sitting in our study (above) and watching people walk past our house as I type.

DOWN:

• Turns out it’s not that much fun not having a job. On the one hand, there is more time for Parks and Recreation viewing, but on the other there is more time for getting the guilts about being a burden on society, and more to the point a burden on Mr H. Plus it’s a bit boring.
• No Polish passport as yet, which means no working until it arrives. A couple more weeks, but then hopefully I will have that burgundy booklet it my hot little hand!
• Missing my family. Goddamn it, why do I have to feel the feelings?
• Extreme hair has arrived. Something in the British water takes a while for me to adjust to, and in the meantime my hair freaks out in an unmanageable way, making me feel more self conscious than I already was. Thanks Life!
• To top it off, I am having a particularly bad skin phase, hence the timely arrival of the Liz Earle goodies.
• I have a wedding to co-plan in six months. How, where and why did that happen? Last time I checked, it was over a year away. God preserve me.
• It’s effing cold here and I am a delicate flower who has become accustomed to a certain level of UV radiation every day.
• This may well be the most boring thing in the world to approximately everyone, but last night I had a dream that Hannibal Lector (yep, that one) was showing me his latest victim, and opened up a hole in the ground to reveal a naked and screaming Jodie Foster within. I was subsequently stabbed. Got a bit freaked out by that one, I must admit, and it was only worsened by the fact that when I checked the time it was only……11:57 pm. Not even midnight, shamefully. I then had to calm myself down by reading blogs and looking at silly gifs on Tumblr until 2am. Whoops.

Hope all is well in your lives. Seeing as I am currently a member of the unemployed, I suspect I will be dropping in to HSGS Headquarters on a semi regular basis. Here’s to seeing a bit more of you!

This Week I Was Grateful For #2

Being able to sit back in a deckchair at my aunt’s house, having had a swim, whipping out my book (The World According to Garp by John Irving if you’re interested) and think ‘well life ain’t so bad after all’.

Three days to go everyone. Three days until I get on a plane with my life, and make my way back to my new home. It ain’t so bad at all.

The Little Traditions

I don’t know if it’s the New Year fabulousness that’s going on around me at the moment, or whether it’s got something to do with getting MARRIED THIS YEAR and the prospect of starting my own family, but this week I’ve thought a lot about the traditions of my family.

Last night was spent with these two lovely women, and we played cards, drank wine and ate delicious snacks. It dawned on me that I’ve experienced a version of this night many, many times before in my life. You see, we’re a card playing family. From a tender age I had card rules and etiquette drummed into me, especially by my slightly terrifying Grandpa with the booming voice.

I haven’t played cards in a long time, and so last night was a balm to my soul. I’ve felt unsettled since Mr Hello left, as the reality of leaving Australia soon myself becomes more and more apparent. I miss our family traditions. I don’t feel so far apart from my loved ones when I have traditions to ground me.

‘Our’ game is called May I, which is a relation of Big Bertha, Frustration and Rummy. We have played it for as long as I can remember, even when I was so small that the 11 cards were too much for my tiny hands to hold. I’d like to teach it to Mr H, and keep this card playing ritual alive. After all, he’s going to be a part of the family very soon, so he better get with the program before it’s too late 😉

Do you have any family traditions that make you feel connected?

 

The End of Twenny Fourteen

I love him.

My Mum, Me, Mr H and my sister. My Dad was also there, but I have my eyes spectacularly shut in the photo with him, so Papa, I’m afraid you miss out.

 

If you’ve snuck a peek at my Instagram account over the last week or two you may have noticed that a *rather* special chap has made a reappearance in my life. That’s right folks, I’ve just had two quite fabulous weeks here in Perth with none other than Mr Hello himself. Our year of the dreaded LDR was ended at disgusting-o’clock on the 18th of December.

We’ve spent two weeks gazing longingly into each others’ eyes and being unrepentantly loved up, celebrating his first ever Australian Christmas (the heat, OH THE HEAT), and more importantly, spending some quality time at the beach. It’s been delightful, truth be told. We even managed to have a relaxed engagement party last night at Matilda Bay.

I’m due to head back to the UK in three weeks, and so now that Mr H has made his way back to the cold before me, it’s time to knuckle down and get to packing (how I loathe the word). I’m excited to return, but also experiencing a strange kind of emotion…almost as if….I might….miss living in Australia? It’s absurd, really, considering the fact that I have more or less spent this year wishing I was back at home in Kent, but now the time is very nearly upon me I find myself rather reluctant to leave. The heat I can take or leave, and yes I am well aware of what a terrible Australian that makes me :), but it’s really the people here that I will miss dreadfully. Which is exactly what I said about leaving Rochester all those months ago. I guess the heart and head get used to living wherever they find themselves to be.

It’s been a wonderful Christmas. It’s been an amazing 2014. Here’s to more of the same and better next year.

Wedding Planning: The Dress

I found my dress about two days after getting engaged. It sounds utterly ridiculous, I know. The whole process of finding what is to be the frock I’ll wear when I go from Ms to Mrs has been incredibly painless and totally without setting foot in a bridal store. Go figure.

I know it’s not the done thing these days to admit you’ve thought about your wedding day for a long time. But to hell with being embarrassed, let’s be completely honest here – it had crossed my mind on a not-infrequent basis over the years. To the point where after I found out about Love My Dress, I began to regularly read, despite being three er, a couple of years out from getting engaged. For a long time I imagined having as fancy a shindig as possible, but by the time the concept of getting married had become more realistic, my tastes had changed and I began to naturally lean towards a simpler, much more chic aesthetic.

Gah, I am desperado to show you a picture of my wedding dress, but I know for a fact that Mr Hello reads this here blog and I want to maintain a bit of mystery for the grand day itself. So…as a compromise I have created the collages below, to give you an idea of my personal style, and maybe even a hint or two…

What do you think? Any favourites?

I was a little bit afraid that having bought my dress online I would feel like I had missed out on the bridal shop experience. Being a bride often feels like a real rite of passage, and I don’t want to miss out on meaningful experiences with my Mum or my sister, or in fact any of the significant women in my life. I was a little bit concerned that a one-time opportunity had been missed, before I came to the realisation that I genuinely despise clothes shopping with other people. I feel self conscious about my body, and I question my own style when I ask other people for their opinion, so in the harsh light of day, perhaps the decision to choose my dress from the comfort and relative privacy of my own laptop was for the best.

Soon after our engagement I was casually Googling wedding dresses, you know, like a totally normal person. When I saw a picture of my wedding dress, I knew within a second that it was the one for me. What I didn’t realise at the time (but did shortly after) was that it was also the wedding dress of a bride from one of my favourite real wedding features on Love My Dress (nope, not linking to it you cheeky thing!). But as luck would have it…..it was a 3 year old dress, and the company making it had sold out. Noooooooooo. This is where it took me a little more time to actually buy the dress I’d somehow chosen immediately. I hit up eBay, with no joy, then PreLoved, also no joy there, and the threads of desperation started to get their sneaky hands on me before at last, I found one in my size on OnceWed. With nary a second’s hesitation I send off an enquiry email. Happily, within a few weeks I had bought it from the lovely Bonnie in Virginia, US, who not only sourced the best postage deal for me, but sent me a beautiful engagement card along with my dress in its original packaging. It was very special. Now OnceWed uses Escrow.com for all financials, as supposedly it’s much safer than PayPal. In the end, Bonnie and I used PayPal to seal the deal and I had absolutely no problem. I can’t vouch for others, but I had a great experience.

Luckily for me, my dress is actually everything I never really knew that I wanted. Buying a secondhand dress actually feels really meaningful, almost as if it’s already a happy dress. That it gets to be a part of more joy, and in turn brings more joy with it. On top of that, it cost me $650 (£350) including shipping. Not shabby at all!

Wedding Planning: The Photographer

If you have ever had anything to do with weddings in your life, you’ve probably heard the story of the bride run ragged by wedding planning, while the groom sits, blissfully unaware with a pint in the pub. Get him involved in the process! the wedding blogs cry, make it a day about both of you!

Happily (sadly?), I never had such a problem. Mr Hello is so extremely excited to be planning a wedding, I can hardly get a word in (I don’t really mean that, J, if you’re reading…teehee?). He was blazing, all cylinders agogo. The trouble was, after the initial decisions had been made, there was a little…er….disconnect on what and where our priorities were, in that we had different ideas about the value of certain services that usually get hired with the whole wedding  kit and caboodle….like getting a professional to capture the day, instead of a friend with a camera.

Now this is not to say that a friend with a camera can’t take wonderful pictures. In fact I have several friends who take absolutely gorgeous photographs. But I know Mr H’s friends, and more to the point I know my friends, and they’re going to want to be front and centre on the D-floor, and I certainly don’t want to ask them to stay sober and focussed for the whole day. Focussed, yes. On being the opposite of sober.

So, to get Mr H fully on board with the idea, I asked him to find a photographer he was happy to use. What he decided on both surprised and delighted me.

We Heart Pictures is an alternative wedding photographer based in London. The husband and wife team of Hector and Charlie are the ‘antithesis of traditional wedding photography’ (LIKE) and aim to capture more of the vibe of the day than 100 posed photos (DOUBLE LIKE). Without more ado, here are some of the snaps that made me scramble to sign on the dotted line….

This one absolutely kills me. This is going to be what my Dad looks like on the day. No doubt about it.

Aren’t they absolutely to die for? I’m so incredibly excited to have Hector shoot our wedding, and to be able to look back and have images of this quality.

They’re absolutely delightful people to boot. Not only were they happy to meet Mr H for a coffee and chat through our options, they actually suggested that they Skype me from London so that they could put a face to a name before the big day. That definitely scored points with me. Hector is Colombian, which means they get the international couple thing, and they get why we’re making some of the choices we are making for the big day. Another bonus? They’re not even that expensive. As far as wedding photography goes, they are totally reasonable and in fact I think they’re excellent value for money considering the lovely quality of their work.

Can you tell I’m excited?

 

All photo credits are We Heart Pictures. Book Them. They’ll  be great.

Wedding Planning: So it Begins

I’ve told a little fib already, in that I cannot in all honestly claim that I (we) have only just begun to plan the wedding. When Mr Hello and I became engaged over my three week pitstop in England in July, we made the most of the time I was there and used the last few days to make some crucial decisions.

It all happened really quickly, easily in fact, in the beginning. We had a shared vision of the kind of wedding we pictured for ourselves: simple, elegant, modern, and that favourite chestnut of wedding blogland (don’t judge me) a day that was “us”. We found a reception venue first, a local art gallery and tearoom that we could hire over a weekend. It will be their first wedding hire, which is quite exciting too if I am honest, and unlike most of the other venues that I saw in Kent, neither a barn, grand estate house nor a village hall. We’re a pretty contemporary couple. Despite my love for all things vintage – Mr Hello has a bit of a penchant for objet d’art of time gone by too I might add – I just couldn’t picture myself in another kind of venue. It would feel like dress ups, and that thought made me wriggle uncomfortably in my skin.

So we progressed. We were unsure of the date, hoping for a little more time to save and recoup after our year apart, but being quite the international couple we had to take into account when family could travel, and so it began to seem more likely that 2015 was the year. I have to say as well, once we’d found the reception venue it was hard to not feel overwhelmed with excitement and want to plan everything right now. We took a little spin around some civil service venues in our town, and before we knew it, we’d decided. A local wedding. A local contemporary wedding, in the town where we live. With the people we love. What could really be more us?

Now we’re apart, wedding planning isn’t quite so straightforward, and decisions have honestly not been quite so mutual. There were disagreements and terse conversations, and all of a sudden the wedding didn’t seem like quite so much fun to talk about. It became something that was our default conversation, to the point that we sort of stopped having a relationship. It’s hard enough as it is to feel connected to someone when you live on the other side of the world, and damn near impossible because you’re mad at them for not budging on some insignificant wedding detail. A pause was most certainly required. So we paused, we waited, we stopped talking nuptials for a month or so. Now the talking is coming back a little, but not so much that we have nothing else to talk about, and slowly we’re finding a path forward together, making decisions we’re both happy with to a certain extent.

So. The fun part. who wants a sneak peek of our wedding motif? We’re not doing a theme as such, but have something that will be echoed throughout the day. Friends, esteemed colleagues, I give you:

That’s all, folks!

 

Mr Hello designed it (among other things) in over a week or so. Without giving the game away, I feel compelled to say that this boy is so damned clever, I think I might keep him. I know – it doesn’t really give you all that much information, but HECK, that’s part of the fun of it! More will be revealed soon…